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April 09, 2008 08:15 pm
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Submitted Photo / Mat Anderson
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All teens at risk of suicide
Parenting column: Most teens interviewed after making a suicide attempt say that they were trying to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with.
By Mat Anderson
CNHI News Service
— When I ask young people what it’s like to be a teenager today, one word comes up often: Pressure.
Teens today are transitioning through adolescence amidst incredible pressure from their peers, parents, teachers and society. For many teens, the burden of these choices and expectations is too much to handle. Perhaps it isn’t surprising then that suicide is the third leading cause of teen deaths, and that one in 12 teens has attempted suicide in the past 12 months.
Most teens interviewed after making a suicide attempt say that they were trying to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with. They generally didn’t want to die as much as they wanted to escape from what was going on in their lives. For many teens, suicide seems like the only way out.
Many suicidal teens may be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt or loss. Others might be angry, ashamed or guilty about something. Some may even be worried about disappointing friends or family members. And others feel unwanted, unloved, victimized or like a burden to others.
The truth is that all teens feel this way at some point and as a result, all teens are at risk of suicide. Most teens who commit or attempt suicide have given some type of warning to loved ones ahead of time. It’s important then for parents to know the warning signs so that teens who may be suicidal can get the help they need.
Signs include:
Talking about suicide or death in general.
Talking about “going away.”
Referring to things they “won’t be needing,” and giving away possessions.
Talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty.
Pulling away from friends or family and losing the desire to go out.
Having no desire to take part in favorite things or activities.
Having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly.
Experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits.
Engaging in self-destructive behavior (self-mutilation or substance abuse, for example).
It is also important for parents to keep the lines of communication open and to express concern, support and love for their teens. If your teen confides in you, it’s necessary to show that you take those concerns seriously. A fight with a friend may not seem like a big deal to you in the larger scheme of things, but for a teen, a situation like that can seem immense and consuming. It’s important not to minimize or discount what your teen is going through. This may increase his or her sense of hopelessness.
Some parents are reluctant to ask teens if they have been thinking about suicide or hurting themselves. Some fear that if they ask, they will plant the idea of suicide in their teen’s head. It’s always a good idea to ask, even though doing so may be difficult.
If you learn that your child is thinking about suicide, get help immediately. Your doctor can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist, or your local hospital’s department of psychiatry can provide a list of doctors in your area.
According to one study, 90 percent of suicidal teens felt misunderstood by their family. With this in mind, one of the most important things a parent can do for a teen who may be feeling isolated, depressed or suicidal is to love them and take a genuine interest in their lives. By working to understand your teen through becoming engaged in their life, you will not only reduce the risk of depression and suicide, but also build on the most important relationship in the development of your teen.
Mat Anderson is the staff writer and research specialist at The Bridge in Joplin, Mo. His column appears regularly in The Joplin Globe. For more information visit futureparadigm.org.
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